Written to Havilah's ministry in Oct 2016 shortly after the conference:
"My mom came from a long line of broken, very messed up family. She was sexually molested as a child, abused, an abortion at 16 and so much more hurt and anguish that I will not ever go into here. Her and my father married young and became Christians shortly after. However it would be years until she was truly delivered from the demons of her past.
Because of this, words she spoke over me during my teenage years caused many wounds that took a lot of time to heal. She would say that someday I’d have a daughter just like me (rebellious, angry at the world, hating my mom) and that no man would ever be able to stay with me because of my fierce, stubborn personality. Of course I know now that she was still working through her own very anguished past and deliverance was yet to come into her life.
As a young girl (6) I too was molested despite my parents very vigilant care over us. This too would come to affect my life in so many ways until working through it with a Christian counselor in my late 20’s when I finally found true freedom and many chains of my past were broken.
There is so much more to go into here but I won’t for the sake of time. What I will say is this: after the counseling, I met my amazing, christian husband. A year into our marriage we started trying for a baby. Little did we know that this journey would take 2 and a half years, a surgery for me and lots of tears and questions.
In April of this year, I got pregnant! It actually came as a surprise because I had pretty much thrown my hands up and started grappling with the fact that perhaps, I would never be able to have biological children. When I saw that positive pregnancy sign, I cried myself to sleep I was so happy, so scared, so overwhelmed.
What I didn’t expect to happen was for me to cry when I found out we were having a girl about 16 weeks into my pregnancy. I suddenly began to bawl in the doctor’s office once the ultrasound technician had left. I didn’t understand why I was crying. Why I was so disappointed. My husband was at a loss for words. This should have been a time of rejoicing.
Then the shame set in. Why didn’t I want a daughter? I got home and started praying and searching my heart. And then the words came pouring out “I can’t have a daughter. How will I keep her safe in this world? How will I raise her to be a woman of God? How can I be sure the things that have happened to me will never happen to her?" I cried and prayed and cried and prayed and finally the Lord filled my heart with peace and a sudden, unmeasured LOVE for this baby girl in my womb. God told me “your past doesn’t have to be her future. I will break the chains of the generations before her. “ Basically, SHE WOULD BE FREE.
We named her Francesca Josephine Isabelle shortly after - not even knowing that Francesca meant “free”…...
That was a while ago and I am now 25 weeks pregnant. We said we would keep her name a secret until her birth. And then you had that prophecy last night and I said surely this is not for the Francesca in my tummy. Surely there is a Francesca in the room. And there was. And it was my Francesca and God was confirming that her future will be free and full of His presence and His spirit and his calling."