For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved to sing. I remember being so outspoken about my singing, that once in Elementary School, I belted out Annie’s “Tomorrow” in front of my class of 30 students with no inhibitions. Somewhere along the way, that changed. Afraid of what other people thought of people who “claim” they can sing, I chose to stay silent about my vocal abilities.
I ended up harboring jealousy over others who were so willing to put themselves out there and I clothed myself in false humility. It got to a point where, in college, when my brother fell in love with music again, I would say, “he’s the singer, I’m the dancer” ignoring the fact that God made us in such a way that we both share both abilities.
It wasn’t until I fell back in love with God around three years ago, that He began to reawaken this gift inside of me. God worked on my heart and taught me that instead of feeling like I had to be “humble” and stay silent, that I was actually hiding one of the gifts he’d given me, and was dishonoring Him because I wouldn’t share my gift with others (see Matthew 25:14-30 and Matthew 5:15).
Because I wasn’t sharing that part of me, I was actually holding myself captive; not allowing others to see me. There are few things that make my heart sing (pun intended) quite like singing does. To me, being free is having the courage to put my talent on display and to earnestly desire to bless others with it. It’s not about desiring praise, it’s about singing songs in such a way that bring me joy in the hopes of bringing others joy in the process (Hallelujah is one of those songs).
It’s because of that revelation that I decided to put my latest cover on Youtube. It’s because of that revelation that I decided to take the plunge and join worship team. I don’t know where God will take me with this gift, but I know now that it is far better to partner with Him with each gift that he’s graciously given me, rather than run and hide because of how I think others will perceive me.